my bucket is empty...
I sit here at my kitchen table with my laptop; somewhere I don't usually sit and write but I sit here listening to the kids play outside ~ yelling, screaming, running, riding, every few minutes I hear "MOM!??" but otherwise here I sit thinking I need to write. Get out of my head. I've been so up in my head lately! I know I need to write it out, get it out..but I don't. Why is that? Why do we not do the things we know will make us feel better, get us to the other side of whatever is there for us? Or is it just me who does these things? I doubt it. What do you do to get out of your head. I'm asking and wanting some suggestions. I need new ways to get to the other side of "this". Maybe it's all fear, most likely it is and that is ALWAYS what stands in my way.
But that's not really what I wanted to write about today. What I really wanted to say is that my to do list is growing and I'm feeling overwhelmed and I wish I had some kind of fairy godmother of sorts to come help me with all this so I could again..."get to the other side". But I don't and so it is left for me to figure out. Always.
I was running solo this past weekend as a parent and since I don't do that very often I was actually looking forward to having the girls to myself. It's harder, but I took it. I embraced it. I tried not to schedule too much for myself since that never really works and hey, it was the weekend. We had a pretty good time and there wasn't too much yelling (I hope!) and we survived. Of course I didn't get anything for myself done and again, the list is growing but the list will always be there, won't it?! It's our last week of summer before K goes back to school and it's a bit sad but I'm also looking forward to getting back to the routine/the structure. Now to think and research some place for P to go a few days a week. Again, the overwhelming tasks of all this gets to be a bit too much.
Even though I've been out of my full time day job for over a year the biggest obstacle I still have issues with is time management and scheduling it all. Because it's all me, no one else is structuring my time or my priorities and tasks. It's something I really want to improve upon and now that school is starting I'm hoping to really get on top of this.
I realize I'm babbling like a journal entry but what better place than this...next up is web redesign, taking my photography more seriously, delegating out some work, setting priorities and sticking to them, scheduling myself in better ways and creating time for myself and my family. New photography projects, finishing old ones ~ the year of completion right? Ahhhh, life. It's a good one.