feeling loved*

sitting here at this big table feeling loved in the best sense.  i'm all alone with my computer, my things sprawled across it like it's my home; from my tissues to my chai, to my calendar, to my hair clip.  this is me, right here right now and i feel loved. 

maybe it's because i see so many people doing their best and making it work for them and women who have been on their path and it's been hella hard and they are finally seeing and being with the rewards.  maybe it's because i have this space i can come and yes, it's been hard and frustrating and damn stressful, it's here and it's a part of my life.  i have 2 beautiful friends who i adore and welcome in my life every day and they welcome me even the not so great parts and for that i am forever grateful.

i sit here knowing i'm avoiding something, something big and i'm stuck and not really sure how to get out of the mud but still i sit here knowing i am loved and that means everything to me.

i sit here knowing that i am grateful and i am alright and that it will all get done sooner or later or maybe not at all and the sky won't fall.  i will miss out on a few things and there will be people i won't meet or that i won't connect to and that will be ok.  seriously it will be ok.  i do believe.